Meyer Lemon Cookies
Whenever I hear of someone talk about baking my mind instantly goes to the part of Kitchen Confidential where Adam calls Tony wanting him to feed the bitch or she will die. I also instantly presume everyone who bakes constantly is some evil genius hell bent on world domination with tangled hair, smell of a three day booze bender, and squints from working in dark dungeons creating variety of dough and pastries. Still though a lone wolf working in the background to set the tone for dinner with perfectly crafted bread, variety of dessert to compliment the end of a perfect meal, and creating that perfect crusty french bread for the lunch crowd grabbing a quick sandwich. In essence a necessary evil whose work you adore but not ready to invite him or her over to Sunday dinner with the parents.
In fact the few times I have baked usually end with the same result. Jeff is drunk in a corner sobbing uncontrollably while rocking back and forth griping a bottle of Jack Daniel as a life line. At some point I have to face my fears and either accept that baking could turn me into an alcoholic or man up and get through this. So armed with my mantra “New Year New Jeff” (I think the cat has been playing Tony Robbins CDs while I sleep) I decided cookies could be a good intro start. I saw these cookies listed on Lori’s site and thought I have meyer lemons that are lonely and a Saturday afternoon of nothingness for once.
So fast forward to the day after and I can proudly say “Hi my name is Jeff and I have been sober for one baking event.”
I can see many of you rolling your eyes going oh this smuck thinks baking cookie is some secret art form and something worth of a good job when my five year old can already do it. Well take off hoser this is my victory and my blog.
So let us recap why I was successful.
- This recipe is easy as they get. None of this measure 2/3 of a gram of a peaberry bush while the scale is offset 1/10 of a gram to compensate for the particle of butter that needs to be dropped into the batter at approximately 3 minutes and 22 seconds into the process.
- Music turned up to 11. I took a cue from my garden which gets a hour of punk music every week. I figured if Social Distortion and The Vandals can help my tomatoes grow big and juicy than their magical powers could be applied to baking cookies. Thankfully cookies like punk because I would hate to have to buy Yanni. Knowing my luck I would be hosting a party and my ipod would start spitting out the greatest sounds of love or something that would make my friends ridicule me more than normal.
- Mindset. Before I started I had the Homer Simpson discussion with my brain: “All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.”
This is not to say there was not a few minor setbacks.
- Never had made cookies before I uhh…had no clue when they were actually done. So the first couple of batches came out hmmm….torched is the word I am looking for.
- Parchment paper should be trimmed to match the sheet pan to avoid the aromatic smell of burnt parchment paper.
- Do not presume you have baking powder. Also, as a honorable mention the day before Easter in a grocery store is maddening.
- Cooling racks more than one is really handy to have floating around the house because one rack does not hold as many cookies as one would think.
To get this recipe which I highly recommend since everyone thought they turned out amazing click here.
Oooppsss…I almost forgot frosting for the cookies. I was thankful that Not Quite Nigella had posted a cream cheese icing for her twilight cupcakes (click here to get this recipe). Thankfully I already had a package of cream cheese that I needed to use to make this.
I took a couple pictures which I really hate to say I am actually ashamed to post. Not because my photography still is eh but observing both Lori from Recipe Girl and Not Quite Niegalla’s decorating skill I feel like a blind fish out of water could have done better than I.
Ohh..that last comment brought up another point I would like to make in that is there such a thing as straight guy cookie cutouts????? No I do not want to serve my guests a plate full of heart or cloud cookies. My overactive/overcaffinated imagination decided that the stars were actually ninja throwing stars and the cookies were being baked in honor of my imaginary ninja successfully passing super secret ninja star throwing school.
Finally thank you sprinkles for covering up horrible frosting jobs since the 1600s….
Now if you excuse me I have to go sit on my couch and catch up with the DVR due to a sugar coma………..
Hiya….
Those cookies look so scrumptious…
Cheers,
elra
hahahahaha. i’m glad your cookies don’t like yanni
that would have been a disaster!
You’re no rookie– those look fantastic! I’m a big fan of shapes but have no patience myself to cut out cute shapes. Good work!
Hey, they turned out great!
Jeff you had my laughing hysterically. I think I loved your writing better than your cookies. Kidding! No, seriously I am just horrible at frosting too. I frost like I am drunk or have a hand twitch.
You rock!
LOL. What a blast!
You can definitely get “guy” cookie cutters for next time: hammer, saw, fish, dog bone, etc.
Thanks for checking out my site! …Susan
Funny post! Glad you overcame your baking fear. The cookies look and sound delicious!
Meyer lemons are the best!!!
Happy Easter!
LMAO! I too think of the part in Kitchen Confidential where Tony gets the call from his pastry chef to ‘feed the bitch’!
I am totally gonna make my heirlooms listen to a little Throw Rag. We’ll see if that’ll wake them up. Only an hour a year, you say?
Crap good catch sherpas should have been an hour a week.
he makes cookies too? awesome.
What a funny story of your baking escapade!
I think your cookies turned out great!
Now, you’re going to have to find a different excuse for hitting the Jack Daniels, cause these look fantastic!
This was a great post to read. Love your cookies.
I think your cookies look wonderful.. They must be extra special with the meyer lemons!!
Must be so fun to have Homer Simpson in your brain… so easy to kill him with a beer! Hahaha…
Aww you are too sweet! But they look delicious! Don’t be so modest, they are fantastic Jeff
tee hee, you’re funny.
that actually looks REALLY good. I’m horrible with cut-out cookies. I once tried to make gingerbread men and they all came out with broken legs and arms and heads.
I was laughing hysterically reading this. I keep picturing the Yanni music going off …
The cookies look great! I love lemon cut outs.
nice cookies -dude…
Grocery shopping the day before Easter (or any big cooking holiday for that matter) is INSANE and something to be avoided at all costs. Seriously. Secondly, never bake drunk. It’s on par with a drink and dial, and always a big mistake
So, does your garden really grow better with a bit of Social Distortion thrown into the mix? Fascinating…
Yeah your pics look really good! These cookies were probably very sweet and tasty. We just used Meyers this weekend, but for a tart. Totally different taste. Maybe we should try cookies next…
These look good enough to eat!
This looks wonderful. (And your assessment of the average pastry chef certainly fits the ones I know…)
a wonderfully scented alternative to the greek easter koulourakia - my kids would love the looks of these
(snail harvesting: to see how it’s done, click here: http://organicallycooked.blogspot.com/2008/06/snail-harvesting.html)
“Ohh..that last comment brought up another point I would like to make in that is there such a thing as straight guy cookie cutouts????? No I do not want to serve my guests a plate full of heart or cloud cookies. My overactive/overcaffinated imagination decided that the stars were actually ninja throwing stars and the cookies were being baked in honor of my imaginary ninja successfully passing super secret ninja star throwing school.”
Not just for guys, dude! I like funky cookie cutters that are not girly or sappy. Cost Plus usually has some good ones. My favorites out of my own personal collection include: bat, skull with bleeding eye, Frankenstein, Haunted House, Palm Tree, Alligator. Stegasaurus, Star of David (for my Jewish friends) and a bunch of wild animals.